


The Duality of Obliviousness

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Angst, Bisexual Male Character, Broken marriage, Cheating, Chronic Illness, Confessions, F/M, Fluff, Hand Jobs, M/M, Multi, Rimming, Romance, Strippers & Strip Clubs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-20 20:41:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6024013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's something within the soul that tempts, that deducts the most powerful route and enforces you to follow it at some point in your life. You can deny it for years, can pull yourself into the very pits of hell in order to avoid it, but one day it will come to pass that it will be avoided no more. And when that moment comes... your entire life will change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Duality of Obliviousness

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday fic for [Kyo](http://49.media.tumblr.com/491a09d80bf3f761ee08e250a163c093/tumblr_mknto6eiR31qcjy8no1_500.gif).  
> Beta Readers: sakura_ame  
> Song[s]: "Whore" by In This Moment / "Burn" by In The Moment

_There's something within the soul that tempts, that deducts the most powerful route and enforces you to follow it at some point in your life. You can deny it for years, can pull yourself into the very pits of hell in order to avoid it, but one day it will come to pass that it will be avoided no more. And when that moment comes... your entire life will change._

Kyo woke with a gasp, covered in sweat as he sat halfway up in his bed. Panting softly, he curled one leg closer to his body, leaning forward to support himself as he took in breath after breath, seeking to steady himself in the slightest. One hand pushed back through his hair, the short black strands of it sticking to his fingers in an unpleasant way that made him wince.

Beside him, the bed shifted, one slim be-ringed hand coming to rest on his upper thigh. "Y'okay, darling?" Shifting slightly, Kyo stared down at her hand, at the way she stroked over his skin in the most intimate of fashions. But it did nothing... hadn't been for a very long time now. Tipping his head back, he forced out a, "Sure," and then reached to rub his hand across his face, letting it drop to his lap a moment later.

He could still remember the first moment in which he'd realized he and his wife had become next to nothing to one another in all the ways that kept a marriage together. He'd been standing beside her in the kitchen and she'd made some off-handed comment about the stove, something that had nothing at all to do with where his mind had gone. But the fact that he hadn't been listening to her for years... that she hadn't been listening to him either. The ideas that shaped their lives had morphed into something he couldn't even begin to find common ground. And, at first, he'd written it off. Sometimes people drifted, their paths going further astray from one another for a while and then merging back up when they put the effort into trying to match back up again.

But the thing was... they weren't trying. They'd talked a few times, had expressed their dissatisfaction with things. And nothing had changed in the end. Old habits and old ways, refusing to do anything but exist in some horrible strung out version of their lives. Three years... it had been three years of living in this shamble of a marriage. He didn't dare leave her, didn't honestly think she could survive without him anymore, her health always on the decline and his fear of making it all that much worse stopping him cold in his tracks.

The fact of it all was that he knew he could never wound her so deeply as to request they file for a formal divorce. But it haunted him now; the decision to spend the rest of however long she was on this earth trapped within the confines of whatever the hell this was. 

He reached down and lightly squeezed her fingers, removing them from his thigh, reminded of how once upon a time, they'd at least had this part. The tender touches had dissolved into desperate, needy release. Even after they'd known everything about their marriage was dissolving they had still had the sex. It made things tolerable, to know they could find peace in one another in at least the most base of ways. But then he'd started having problems of his own, ones that left her angry and bitter at him, that left her standing half-naked in the middle of the bedroom in tears while he felt like the weakest person on the planet. 

The doctors had called it stress-induced, though Kyo had a feeling it was because meaningless sex had never been the ticket for him and now that he barely even felt friendship toward her... well that made is life much harder in that regard. They'd tried remedies for a while, everything that didn't involve a trackable prescription, and nothing had worked. At which point, they'd simply given up... just like they did on everything else in their marriage. 

Usually when a marriage began to dissolve, Kyo had found it typical that people would argue more, that they would turn volatile at the drop of a hat. But they didn't go that path at all. Instead, they avoided. Their anger was spent within their passions - his music and hers designing homes - and it suited them just fine that even the heat of argument had disappeared. 

Pushing himself up from the bed, he flicked a glance back toward her, reaching down to pull on his pants and snag his t-shirt from the day before off the back of the chair on his side of the room. And it looked like that... segregated into her things and his. The entire house was turning that way. A half of the bathroom, a half of the bedroom, a half of the living room. It was nothing short of a spectacle if someone bothered to look close enough to see it. 

He pulled his wallet, keys, and phone from the dresser top and turned to go, her voice stopping him. "I know where you go..."

Kyo cocked his head slightly to the side and then shrugged. "So?"

"So you don't drink and there's only one other thing men do in a bar like that."

The crook of a strange little smile slid over his face and he tucked a piece of his damp hair back behind his ear. "Think what you want. It's not illegal, what I do there."

The shift of the bed springs told him she was rolling over toward him to talk and he eased himself against the dresser, arms folded over his chest as he waited on what could be twenty seconds or two hours, depending on how stupid they got with one another in the meantime. Though, really, most things were statements now instead of the start of any sort of discussion. "You meet _him_ there."

"It's not a crime for me to see Die." It wasn't that he didn't know what she was getting at. After all, he and Die had a history. For years before he'd ever met her, he'd been something of an on-again-off-again boyfriend to Die and, honestly, it was some of the most passionate moments of his entire life. The redhead had a tendency to be a complete firecracker when he really got going in the right direction. But it had been nearly a decade since they'd had such a thing and at least seven years since they'd even talked about it. 

"He loves you... you know that, right?"

The crease between his brows was instant, the way he sucked in a breath through his teeth telling him he was ready and set for the first argument they'd had in a good long time. But, all the same, he didn't really want to plunge into it like that. "I don't even want to entertain the idea. We go and he drinks and I watch the crowd. When we get bored, we go to the strip club down the street for an hour or so. He goes home with some girl and I come back here. Jay... you need to back off in a hell of a lot of ways. I'm not even sure with how much of a _lie_ this marriage is that you can even claim to dictate what I do and do not do."

She sighed, reaching to flip on the tiny light beside the bed, plunging the room into a gloomy shadow. She was dressed in one of the pretty little nighties that she preferred, the thing that once upon a time had flip-flopped Kyo's heart when he saw it, but now held the interest of a straw wrapper for him. "I'm not trying to dictate your life, Kyo. I'm trying to tell you... I know we're in a loveless marriage. And now it's even sexless... and that's not fair to anyone."

Shifting his hip away from the dresser knob, Kyo flicked his gaze down to the bedspread, examining the pattern of it as he deliberated what she meant exactly. "Are you trying to encourage me to go after him?"

"Not in so many words... but if you want him and he still wants you, then have at. You have my blessing." She gave a pained little look and reached to snatch up a tissue before she began to cough, deep and aching. Kyo watched her now, watched the way her body contorted and her tiny frame trembled with the force of each cough. And he saw the blood when she closed up the tissue, when she tossed it into the trash barrel by her bedside. 

"Is it getting worse?"

"Does it matter?" She reached up to rub at her chest, watching him with dark eyes. "You think I have no idea why you're still here, but you're wrong. I know you're supporting my health financially and that you don't want to leave me alone for the last years of my life. And I know you would have walked years ago if it hadn't been for this shame of a body God put me in."

Kyo held up a hand and shook his head. "I do what I do on my own merit, okay? I'm not leaving because I don't want to and my reasons... yeah, they're pretty damn close to that at this point. But... I loved you once upon a time. Truly... and I owe that much to you at least. In my own mind... this thing you think you know about me and Die? I haven't because it's disrespectful and because you don't deserve that."

Pushing herself out of the bed, she came to him, gently cupping his cheek and giving him a smile that once would have been filled with so much light it would have put Kyo's heart to flutter. "I'm dying, Kyo... it won't be long now. Two years at the most and that's... bullshit. The way I feel, it's less than a year away now. Everything's shutting down already. And, honestly, I'd rather see you happy again before the end of it all. I mean, I'd appreciate you seeing me to the grave. But you don't have to sacrifice anything when we both know this marriage was dead before I ever got diagnosed. I _know_ you're not leaving me over this."

"What are you really trying to say?"

"Go... be with him. Make yourself happy if he's what will do it for you. I've seen the way he looks at you." She patted his cheek and skirted around him, limping off toward the bathroom. "He looks at you like you're the brightest star in his sky. Just like you used to be mine." She turned back, one hand on the doorjamb. "And then I stopped loving you. But Die?" She shook her head. "He didn't. He hasn't and if I had to flounder a guess, I'd say he won't. If you even feel a fraction of what he does for you, you could be happy with him."

"We've always been basically sex... you know that, right?" Kyo let his hand rest on the dresser, the other sliding over the pocket of his jeans. 

"Because you never let yourself look deeper. But go to his little bar tonight and while you're sitting there, letting him get drunk in front of you... watch him. Watch the way he looks at you, the way he goes to touch you and stops himself like you could burn him if he didn't watch out. Listen to the way he talks to you and the way he leaps to help you no matter what you're doing. And then take a damn step back and watch and listen to yourself. I think you'll figure something out that you're the last one to know."

"Is this your blessing then?"

"Something like that." She disappeared around the corner and a moment later, Kyo heard her coughing so hard she was retching. The bathroom door closed and he heard her gag. Wincing, he headed past the door to the bathroom, down the hall, and right on out of the apartment. Some things never changed... and some things only got worse until they ended. And from the sound of it, she was probably closer to right about her prognosis than the doctors were and that put a dark chill on Kyo's soul. As much as he didn't love her anymore, he didn't want to see her die either. But, again... he owed it to her to at least see this one through.

\----------

The bar itself wasn't a very nice one. But the beer on tap was quality and such that Die enjoyed himself. And the fact that it was off the beaten path and beyond the realm of high-class bars people tended to frequent meant they got recognized less. More privacy meant more discussions and that was what Kyo had been coming here for. To listen to Die's voice as he told him whatever was going on his life and to once in a while reveal something key about his own life. 

Tonight, he found Die at the bar, engaged in a conversation with a man at least half his age. The guy was clearly flirting, though Kyo took note that Die wasn't returning it in the least. Either he was disinterested or oblivious. It was always hard to tell with him. But, he supposed, that was part of the point of playing it off that way. It let people down easy when he didn't want what they were offering him.

Sliding in against the bar beside Die, he waited on the bartender, gesturing to Die's cup and holding up a single finger and then tapping the Ginger Ale icon on the little placemat. She nodded and went about making both of their drinks, Kyo fishing out money to pay for it, the pair of them exchanging before Kyo placed his hand at the small of Die's back, letting his touch engage in a familiar way, his fingers splaying out and then lightly rubbing as he pushed his drink toward him. "Whenever you're ready," he breathed out close to his ear.

Pulling back, he made his way to one of the back tables, sliding in and bringing his feet up onto the booth seat, huddling into the back corner and waiting. Die followed less than a minute later, coming to settle on the same side of the table as him, settling down the new glass of beer and turning toward him with a bright smile. "Hey... didn't expect you tonight."

Kyo gave a little shrug, nodding toward the bar and the reasonably attractive man Die had left behind. "Hope I wasn't interrupting anything."

"Nah... he's a dancer at the club, that's all."

So, oblivious it was then. "He wanted to fuck you." He watched Die's face morph into surprise and then slight embarrassment and he huffed out a little laugh, reaching for his drink and taking a sip. "You've always been a bit slow on the uptake."

"Yeah, well... look who's talking."

"There's a difference between slow to catch on and not caring." Kyo leaned forward then, one hand resting on his own leg, the other curled around his glass. "Speaking of... how's the love life been?"

Die eyed him for a moment and then snorted. "Not the smoothest change... why the interest?"

"Call it old time's sake... back when we used to give a shit about such things."

"You say that like we ever stopped caring." Die drained more of his beer and settled it down on the table again. "I think we just stopped asking, not caring. When it's not something you need to discuss, you tend not to discuss it. S'how you've always been." Die's fingers played over the rim of the glass and, finally, he shrugged. "Okay, a bit dry recently. I can't seem to... care. You?"

Kyo let out a little whistle between his teeth and shook his head. "Think of the driest well you've ever seen... and imagine it dryer."

Die grunted, letting his hand drop to the table. "Wasn't that about all you had left?" There was something like pity in his voice and normally that would have annoyed Kyo. But right then, in that moment, he was almost glad for it. In this case, pity led him down the right road.

"May I be incredibly blunt and perhaps a little rude about it?"

"Aren't you always?" Die flashed him a smile that told him he was about half teasing. 

"She'll probably be dead before the year's out... and I won't leave her to die on her own. That's... it. There's no glue and no pieces anymore, just this time bomb ticking away until she's gone."

"And that doesn't bother you? ... Waiting on her to die, I mean."

Kyo took another sip of his drink, placing it back down on the table and leaning back, folding his arms over his chest. "Not really. I know that's callus, but I just stopped giving a shit somewhere along the way. She did too... we've talked about it a hundred times. Love died and then friendship died... and now sex has died. There isn't shit left for us to base anything on besides... this. We wait her out and she dies without the shame of divorce hanging over her head from her family. They're a huge bag of dicks... and the last thing she needs is to go back to them while she's dying. I mean... I don't love her or really like her anymore and I still give more of a shit than they do."

"It's called compassion... and you've always had it in spades." 

Kyo watched Die's hand as he slid it off the table, nearly brought it to touch Kyo's knee, and then veered off to push his hair back from his face again. The touch landed on the table once more and Kyo stared at it curiously. A fluke, perhaps... but it seemed at least some of Die's endless fidgets were aborted attempts at contact with him. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes for a moment. "Yeah well... life, ya know?"

Die grunted in response and Kyo picked up his glass without opening his eyes, draining some more of it.

The next half an hour was spent with the pair of them ordering another round and talking over some baseball game that Die clearly had a massive sports-boner for, while Kyo only superficially followed it just to track what Die was talking about when he did this sort of thing. One more round and they were off, toward their usual destination. 

Three blocks and down a side street they found their little fetish strip club. It was out of the way, lesser traveled, just like their bar. And it gave them just a hint more privacy to indulge in watching such things. Die trailed through the club to where the whole place started to divide between men and women, taking a table just within the bounds of the women's side, this one slightly further back from the stage than usual.

Kyo knew what that meant. It meant at some point Die would disappear toward the back room with a girl, who would come back out within two minutes or so, claim one of the male strippers and gesture toward the back, both of them talking in hushed tones. And then when Die reappeared about fifteen minutes later, he'd look more at ease than he had in months. Which meant... Die wasn't kidding about being disinterested. 

He'd noticed it over the years, these spells that Die went through wherein no one really did it for him. But he could trick himself into thinking a stripper was okay to get off to if he timed it right between beers and between days. They took their table and the girl came by to get their drink orders, Die ordering a bottle of water and Kyo getting a bottle of green tea. 

Kyo kept his eyes on Die as they kept their discussion beneath the level of the music in the club; watched the way his hands kept trying to come back to Kyo in some way and then would dart off to busy themselves elsewhere. He watched the way that the longer they were here, the more and more times Die's eyes drifted over Kyo's body, lingering on places he didn't normally let himself look. And he watched the way his eyes darkened and his breathing picked up just the smallest amount. 

Purely fascinated, Kyo took in every single way that Die was getting himself turned on _by him_ rather than the club they were in. And it struck him for the first time that it had never been about the girls or the guys here. It had always been about the low light and Kyo's distraction, about the substitution of someone else when Die got himself good and worked up over Kyo. And he wondered how the hell he'd ever missed it and how his own wife had picked it up when she's probably only followed them once or twice. 

Maybe Die wasn't the only one who was oblivious. The next few minutes were the ones that left him feeling like he'd, perhaps, been intentionally blind to it all. Die couldn't stop himself entirely now. Out of every three aborted attempts to touch Kyo, one would sneak through. A laugh and a touch on the arm, a pat on his bicep or his thigh... Die acting up his alcohol level out of nowhere to lean on Kyo as he dropped something in the floor. And God, it was painfully obvious now that he saw it from this angle. 

He watched Die finally force his focus on the stage, saw him scanning through the girls and covertly glancing toward the men. And when he moved to stand up, Kyo did as well. Their eyes met, confusion clouding Die's gaze and Kyo reached to place his hand on Die's shoulder. "We should go..." at Die's nearly desperately hurt look, Kyo squeezed his shoulder, letting his palm run down his arm ever so gently. "Trust me. Your place work?"

Kyo could see the way Die's heart probably felt like it was stuck in his throat, the way he nearly seemed to be unable to draw in his next breath for an instant. "Is this... are you...?" Die stared at him helplessly and Kyo just gave him a little nod. "It's exactly what you think."

The war that played out on Die's face was one Kyo wanted to put a stop to the instant it began. And while he knew he held the silver bullet, he wanted to see how Die would come out of it without him using it. Maybe it was a cruel game, but he'd never laid claim to being the nicest person in the world. Not when it came to things like this.

Die closed his eyes and then slowly shook his head. His hands came to rest heavily on the back of his chair as he leaned forward. "We can't... don't misunderstand. I _want_ to... I've..." he raised one hand and Kyo found a tremor in it as he pushed his hair back again. "I've never stopped wanting that with you... but we can't do that to her."

Kyo slid one hand over Die's own, pressing lightly against the chair. "I have full permission... it's not like that. If it was, I would have acted eons ago."

Die seemed to deflate from the tense way he'd been holding himself and he moved his hand to lightly pat Kyo's before he extracted himself from his touch and turned to head for the door, jerking his head toward it to indicate Kyo should follow.

The walk was filled with silence, one that Kyo hadn't heard in a long time. It was pensive and nearly strained, as though Die couldn't quite grasp the peace he needed for the situation. And then they were at his home, their shoes left in the hallway and most of the lights left off. They alternated turns in the bathroom and when Kyo came back out, he had to wander the rooms to find Die, finally finding him in the bedroom, perched at the foot of his bed, now devoid of socks and his button-up shirt, left in his jeans and tank top. He'd brushed his hair back and Kyo thought he looked somehow older this way, like his age was showing through in the tiny cracks of the moment now that they were alone... and he realized just how long it had been since he'd felt Die's touch.

Coming to stand between his legs, Kyo reached down to stroke a hand through his hair. "She told me to watch you... she's seen everything while I've been blind to it all." Kyo let his hand trail over Die's cheek, his touch achingly sweet, gentle in comparison to the things he wanted to do to Die. "This... it's never been just sex for you, has it?"

Kyo had never seen walls go up faster in his entire life than the moment those words left his mouth. He watched the light in Die's eyes flick off and he watched the expression on his face that - while it remained outwardly the same - turned to something like stone beneath it. "If you think I'm so cruel as to drag you into my shit, you're wrong. It's always been sex between us and you know that. Fantastic sex," Die flashed a grin at him that Kyo would have once thought held the world but now saw as the horrible cover to all of Die's sweet little lies. "But c'mon... are you here for that or because you think... I'm that pathetic?"

"Die..." Kyo's mouth fell open just a little bit and he shook his head. "I have never - nor will I ever - see you as pathetic. Love... emotion... it's not pathetic. You think I cannot see the barriers you just put up and understand what they mean? You're not lying to anyone but yourself anymore... and I was just too damn blind to see it before, that's all." He knelt to look up into Die's eyes, holding his hand against his throat, his touch light as a feather still. "Do you think it'll bother me if you feel something?" He watched the flicker of shame in Die's eyes and couldn't help but breathe out the quiet curse. "Fuck... Die... on one hand I have the most loveless marriage on the planet and on the other... I've got you, trying so hard not to feel what you do that it's ripping you apart. Jesus hell... how long?" At Die's confused look, he offered, "How long have you felt like this?"

And just like that, everything crumbled. The hurriedly constructed walls shattered and burst, leaving Die looking tired and lost. "Since the first time..."

Kyo's heart seized, aching for Die and for his own blindness. Because they'd always been perfect when they were together. But it had never been more than these fleeting moments in time, never enough to put a name to or enough to even call what it clearly had been. Sliding his hand up behind Die's neck, Kyo tugged him down just the smallest amount, pressing a feather-light kiss to his lips. And then another... and another... until he wasn't parting them anymore, until they were making their way back across the bed, pieces of clothing falling away as they moved.

Kyo seized a pillow, pulling it down under Die's hips as he was passed the lube. They'd never been lengthy about how they passed from start to the main event. For them, it had always been like this. Pure and raw, filled with an energy that felt nearly impossible to deny when they were in the moment and any amount of foreplay only felt like delay toward the thing they both really wanted. They'd talked about it once... for all of two minutes before they'd found themselves entangled in one another again. 

Their kiss turned hungry, all teeth and tongue and panted breath. Kyo made fast work of the preparation, sliding between Die's thighs without ever breaking their kiss, lifting his hips slightly and then sinking home with a snap of his hips. Even after so long apart, they still had it... still had every ounce of knowledge of one another's bodies and just how well they worked in tandem with one another. His arm curved under Die's lower back, the other speared into bright red hair as he moved, his hips napping hard and quick against Die's body, the intensity of a union after so long roaring up quick on him as he thrust.

Die clung to him, panting for his breath, his head finally tipping back from the kiss, baring his throat, and Kyo attacked it with gusto. Kisses and the faintest of nips, enough to send Die shivering beneath him, but not enough to mark him up in a way he had to explain later. Kyo's thrusts grew more and more frantic and Die arched beneath him, his cock flexing up to brush along Kyo's abdomen with each and every thrust that was made, leaving a faintly sticky trail behind from just how turned on he was.

But Kyo knew the routine, knew just how Die liked their union the first time after a while without one another and he understood implicitly that this one would be no different. That first time was always the same, no matter two months or years between. He spread his own legs even more and sat back, holding Die's hips as he began to thrust with full force, jarring Die into making the most amazing little whimpery sounds with each inward spear of his cock. His fingertips tightened on his hips and lust surged up hard. He breathed out a moan of his own, slowing his thrusts, but making them harder, his hips snapping more ferociously against Die's body. Fire burned inside of him and his body began to verge on the inevitable, leaving him watching Die through completely different eyes. The blown out look in his eyes, the way his cheeks were painted with his pleasure... the part of his lips, glistening slick with saliva... the way his cock lay heavy against his own hip, the trail of his precum following the dip of his hipbone... and the way his own cock looked pushing into Die's body.

With a cry, Kyo surged forward again and gave a few jerky little aborted thrusts as he began to cum. Arching into Die's body even deeper, he pumped him full of his offering, watching the way he had pushed in, the way he settled with his cock so far into Die's body. Slowly, he pulled out, a sticky trail of cum sliding out with him, wetting the pillow beneath Die just the slightest amount. 

Kyo sat back, trembling just the slightest as he motioned for Die to turn over. The motion was instant, Die rolling over and pulling his knees up, the pillow discarded to the side. Leaning in, Kyo parted Die's cheeks, watching some of his cum lazily drizzle back out, down the back of Die's balls, and he waited on it. He caught it as it went to drip off, following the wet trail back upwards, lapping over his entrance a few times. Die's hips jerked and Kyo chuckled as he pushed the cum he'd gathered back into his hole. 

Settling, Kyo reached one hand under Die, just resting his cock flat against his palm, fingers curled up a bit an inch or so in front of the head. And then he inserted two fingers into Die's tight hole, searching and then crooking, finding and massaging over his prostate. Die's hips jerked and his cock bumped against his fingers. Instantly, Die was rocking, his cock sliding over Kyo's palm as Kyo manipulated his prostate, pressing and rubbing at it until he had Die whining.

Die sank down further, his thighs spreading and Kyo heard him grappling with a pillow before he knew he'd grasped the edge of the bed. A moment later, Die was thrusting, his cock spearing between Kyo's fingers with each thrust and he began to hear that beautiful voice as Die let himself go, as he stopped holding back. He began to thrust his fingers against the bundle of nerves and Die nearly howled with it, bucking and rutting quick and hard. 

Kyo found himself hard again and this time, he didn't wait Die out. He only kept going until he was sure Die was going to lose it no matter what happened and he moved as fast as he could, smoothly coming between his legs and thrusting back in, sliding all the way home and starting to go after him hard the moment he was in.

Die nearly screamed out his pleasure, his hips bucking wildly, fucking him back on Kyo's cock and Kyo met him, thrust for thrust, until he felt him clamp down and choke out, "K-Kyo," and then he was pulsing around him, his fingertips getting doused in cum as he lost himself. "Die," he purred out in response, sliding the slippery mess all over Die's cock, stroking him as he plunged in a dozen or so more times and then pulled out as he began to shoot for the second time. Cum splattered the bedspread under Die and Kyo stared down at it in shock.

After having been so devoid of any desire and now cumming twice... so quickly... it was achingly obvious that he'd never had a problem to start with. It had only been the situation. Some amount of relief flooded over him and he eased himself down onto the bed, holding out his arm until Die eased down beside him, and he reached to push his hand through Die's hair, still trying to catch his breath. "You know..."

"Hmm?" Die questioned, his body already starting to ease beside Kyo's, a sure sign he was a hundred times more tired than he'd probably let himself believe. And that was another piece of the evidence they'd always ignored. Die slept when Kyo was involved, slept with a peace he never accomplished any other way... and Kyo had never minded being there for him. And yet... 

Kyo shook it off. The past was the past and he could do nothing in the world to change it now. But the present... this he could manipulate at complete will. It was theirs to play with and theirs to live. "I see now where I've always belonged."

And when he felt the dampness against his shoulder, he didn't even think to question it. He only held Die closer, only let him further into his life with the action. Never in his life had he felt so completely at ease... so desperately at home with himself. This... this was what it meant to be in love and it was a million times different than it ever had been with her. Because what he had with Die... was eternal.


End file.
